A Lovely Display

The cowboy boots and hat were such a nice touch. It all looked so pretty.

This picture was taken with my camera phone. Not the best quality, but not too bad. This was before we knew it was okay to take a picture with a real camera.

Betsey was blocking for me. Thanks, Bets!

The flowers and everything looked so nice. I was prepared with lots of kleenex. I expected to cry. And then the preacher began. And then I knew that I was going to hell. DAMNATION! HELLFIRE! It was awful and funny at the same time. HOLY HOLY HOLY. The guy wasn't making anyone tearful with his sermon. I felt like we should jump up and yell "Hallelujah! Amen!" Not the most touching ceremony ever. Certainly memorable though.

To everyone who was there today with me - Grandpa says "See Ya!"

Seriously though, Grandma seemed really happy to see everyone. And it was nice for me to see all our relatives and my two older sisters. It was nice to relax afterwards and play some games together.

I did have to watch "Three Wishes" with Betsey and Mom to get a good cry out today though. :)

Now, I am very tired. It's been a long week. Chai better sleep tonight and stop bouncing on the bed and pouncing on my toes in the middle of the night!

Tuesday

Grandpa, I'm glad I got a chance to say goodbye and

I love you.

Rest in Peace, Cowboy.

It's Monday

It's been exhausting... the past 4 days at the hospital watching Grandpa slowly pass away but fight it the whole time. Watching Grandma with him... catching her looking at Grandpa with the saddest expression on her face. It brought me to tears. Just this look of "I love you-I'm going to miss you-I wish I could help you-I wish I could make you better and bring you home." I can't even really describe it. Grandma was sitting next to the bed, her right hand on his hands. Her other hand was on the bed railing and she just slowly rested her chin on the railing and looked at Grandpa with the saddest look in her eyes while he stared back at her. That's one of the moments that is going to stay with me forever.

As I watched Grandpa struggle to breathe, and yet still try to get up and out of bed so he can go home, I kept thinking of this poem by Dylan Thomas.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Distractions for today

I'm kind've enjoying the leisure time I have now.

I woke up this morning around 9am. I rescued Chai from her "home" which is actually Tigger's cat carrier, but is big enough for little Chai to live in at night time. I started petting her and found out that her purr works! It didn't work yesterday, so it was very exciting! :)

I ate lunch around 11:30-ish then layed down for a nap with Chai.

I got some stuff together and went to the post office around 2:30pm to mail a pair of boots I sold. Then I headed into the ol' Firehouse Grill to help "clean". I was expecting a quick wipe down of some shelves, put some things in boxes, drink some beer. I didn't know we were scrubbing down the kitchen today. Ewwwwwwwwww. That was gross, hard work. But it did involve some beer drinking. And we got to raid the fridge today for left-over food! Hooray! I have lots of frozen chicken and veggies. And some yummy pumpkin flavored "pot de creme." Which is kind've a custardy dessert - kind've like a creme brulee, but without the carmelized sugar on top.

Came home around 7pm, ate dinner, and played with Chai.

It's been a fantastic day.

I should do the dishes, sweep the floor, clean the bathroom, and clean the living room and dining room. But I have an adorable baby kitten to play with instead. ;)

Slowly, I am introducing my two cats. Very slowly. Tigger and Chai growled at each other for a little while today. Tigger hid under the dining room table, and Chai hid under the couch. So that was fun. I really hope they learn to like each other someday...

Everyone meet Chai

I went to the grocery store today and saw a flier with the most adorable kitten. Free to good home. Hooray! I'm broke so I will take a free kitten!

So everyone, meet my new puff ball.

This is my adorable new kitten Chai. She loves to play. Tigger likes to growl at her so far, but she doesn't care. Tigger is just jealous. He'll get used to her.






SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!

The upside of unemployment

My favorite part about being unemployed is getting to actually date my boyfriend again. Now that I have nights free, we can actually spend some quality time together. That was the fun part about my last period of unemployment. So now we can hang out, or go out, or whatever, every night if we want. Woo Hoo!

The other good part about unemployment this time around is that I'm already substitute teaching, so I have some part-time income coming in. Plus, I can still collect an unemployment check! Sweet. I'm actually filing for unemployment on Tuesday, so that's when I'll find out how much my checks will be and how much I will need to sub to make up for the difference for the next few months.

I'm still very sad about losing my restaurant-family and my full-time job there where I had seniority, but I'm definitely feeling better about the whole unemployment aspect of it all.

P.S. the Notre Dame football game yesterday sure was exciting! I had fun, even though I don't really watch football all that much. But now I know what the term 2nd and 9 means. :)

Bowling was fun today. I did much better this week than last time. I still suck, but in almost every frame I had an 8 or 9 in the first throw and just couldn't pick up the spare to save my life. It was almost funny, my row of 9-, 9-, 9-, 8-, etc. I didn't care though. I am certainly not there to win. I did break 100 in one of the games though. Woo hoo! I got 111. Oh, apparantly the $1 raffle tickets go into a 50/50 drawing every week and the winner gets cash. Jason actually won this week and walked away with $75! The next round of drinks for our team was on him. :) Good times, good times.

Unemployment Line

Why do I keep working for these small, independent restaurants in a chain-restaurant kind of world?

I couldn't help it, when my boss and owner of the restaurant, Karie, had tears in her eyes tonight, I started crying too. For me, it's another job lost to a restaurant going out of business -one I loved but still just a job. To Karie and her husband, the chef, and their three kids though, it was their whole life for the past three and a half years. They are going to try to sell the restaurant. If they don't, they actually lose their house. The bank will take it. The owners are just the most awesome people, really. Chris is an awesome chef, his food is sooooooooo yummy. Kari is the hard-assed business aspect of the restaurant that tried to keep them afloat for the past few years. I love them both. I've known them for like 5-6 years.

So tonight, when Kari said that they just couldn't keep the restaurant open and had tears in her eyes, I started crying too. She just gets me going I guess. Thinking about just me - I don't have a full time job. I don't have any savings. I just spent too much money on shoes, thinking I can afford them, that's what I work two jobs for... I will be returning the shoes that I can and selling others on ebay.

My plan for now? I will be subbing more. I will go into the restaurant next week to help clean up. They're not paying anymore, but there's lots of beer and wine that needs to be drank...

I guess it's time again for me to think about what it is that I want to do with my life. I think that I am going to be done with restaurants. I think it's time to move on. Maybe actually use my degree for something, since I will be paying for it for the next 40 years or so...

So, substitute teach. Collect unemployment. Pet my cat a lot. Exercise. Scrapbook. Sell anything I can on Ebay. Hope my boyfriend gets a really good job sometime soon so he can support us both... He does say that if he makes six figures then I don't have to work. Anyone know of anything? Anyone?

The most awesome part of tonight - one of my regular customers - Penny P. I will call her, came in tonight. She asked what I was going to do now. We chatted for a little bit. She asked me, "you know how to get ahold of me, right? I'm in the book. But I'm under Penelope." I never knew her name was Penelope. I thought it was the sweetest thing in the whole wide world that she would tell me her full name and how to get ahold of her if I needed to. Not that I would ever call her, but her offer just touches my heart. Of course, it made me cry.

I am never so emotional as when I lose my job due to circumstances beyond my control.

Wierd little tests

Interesting, these little test thingys.

Sure is a fun waste of time. :) Enjoy!!!!

What's Your Religious Philosophy?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourreligiousphilosophyquiz/
***You are a Self-Discoverer***
You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality.Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine.You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion.You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.You focus on living a quality life.You're not easily impressed with novelty.Yet, you easily impress others.

What's" Your Pizza Personality?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life.You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first.You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker.You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others.You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around.The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it.Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

You Are an Appletini

Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy.But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

Your Mood Ring is Dark Green

FriendlyOutgoingCheerful

Mood Ring Generator

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble! You're a closet exhibitionist who gets a thrill from being secretly naughty.

The Underwear Oracle

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

Your Fortune Is

He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Birthdate: December 13

Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual. Your feeling are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Your Pimp Name Is...

Foxxy Dynamite

What's" Your Pimp Name?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Warm Fuzzies

I just spent nearly two hours perfecting this.

This is my warm fuzzy:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4581149033&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

If anyone would like to donate without bidding, let me know. :)

Just wondering...

I was wondering if I am the only one who thinks that sometimes it's more fun to read everyone elses blog and respond to them than it is to write on their own blog. Maybe it's just me...

Last night, I made dinner for Jason. Well, sort of. I put the Banquet fried chicken in the oven, made Stove-Top stuffing and Hungry Jack instant mashed potatoes, heated some Heinz chicken gravy, microwaved a can of sweet corn with peppers, and made some Pilsbury break-apart Chocolate Chip cookies. I'm not sure if that's really officially considered cooking, but I think these days it's close enough. I turned on the oven, three stove burners, AND the microwave. That's definitely cooking. Anyway. We watched the new Stewie DVD. You know, Stewie from Family Guy and his "untold" story. I thought it was really cute and fun. I love Stewie. He totally rules. Who knew that he and Brian would be actually friends. That took a couple of seasons to come about. Anyway, it was a very cozy night in. Sometimes it's nice to just stay home and be a boring ol' not-married couple. :)

So Burke always comes on about this time of night (its very late, or actually, very early in the morning) over AIM and calls me an addict. Just now I saw the little message area blinking. I was about to defend myself against his accusations, when he totally surprised me by asking how to cite a website without an author in a paper. Then wants a quick little lesson about the use of semicolons. Totally shocked me! Burke, I hope your paper turns out really awesome. Glad I could help. :)

Now please stop calling me an addict. I usually get home from work around 11pm and like to check my email before bed. Tonight I got home from work around 12:30am. I am checking email, blogs, my half.com account (I'm in the money...), and then going to bed.

BTW - I have 191 books up for sale on half.com. I have sold 20 items (including 3 DVDs) for a grand total of $349.42. (one book in particular sold for $137.) Minus the cost of shipping ($76.02) and I have netted $273.40. Hooray! This is fully supporting my shoe shopping sprees. This makes me very happy. I can't wait to sell more books! Gotta sell books! Gotta make money! Gotta make room for the shoes!!! Woo hoo! What Fun!

On a sad note, I did order some really cute burkenstock sandals online only to discover when they arrived that they are the wrong size. :( They didnt have them in my size to exchange, so I had to just send them back. Very sad. Very sad.

Well, Burke has finished his English lesson. I suppose I can go to bed now. Quick before I turn into a pumpkin or something. YAWN

Super cute bowling shoes

When Jason signed us up for this bowling league, we didn't know all of the details. For example, we didn't know that it would last from October to April. Seven months of bowling... We didn't know that we would each be paying $11 every time to play. We didn't know that we are required to sell five $1.00 raffle tickets before each time. (I will probably just pay the $5.00 each week and hope I win something cool in April. I doubt anyone I know would buy a ticket. Anyone? Anyone?) We didn't know that we would have to be at the bowling alley at 11:30am every other Sunday. Although if necessary, and if Dad asks, it's in the evening! ;) Shhhhh. Don't tell. It's our little secret.

Today after bowling we went to this Polish Hall on the West Side that Jason's Aunt and Uncle belong to and continued to drink for another few hours. I asked if this was going to be the plan for every bowling week, cuz that's a helluva lotta drinking. Thank god, he said no. By the end of the night, I am so tired. There's just something wierd about drinking all day and not being drunk.

Has anyone else imagined what fun our family could've had if we had grown up with beer?! So much fun. Still would be so much fun except for the whole Mom and Dad don't drink thing. At least we can have fun without them - drinking and being silly drunks.

So I really do suck at bowling. I'm not sure what a normal person's average is, but my first game I bowled a 54. Second game was like 104 and the third game was 96. Jason says I gave the team a nice handicap. Glad I could help. :) Even before I bowled the first frame I already decided that I really don't care how I do, because I suck and I haven't bowled in at least 5 years. So I will just go and eat cheese sticks and chicken strips and drink beer out of bowling pin shaped bottles and when I have to actually throw a ball I'll just aim for some pins and if some of them fall down, than that's just fantastic. If the gutter claims my ball, oh well. Don't care. I also decided that because I do suck, the least I can do is be well dressed with cute bowling shoes while I do it. And at least the super cute shiny black bowling shoes give me something to look at while the pins aren't falling down...


p.s. these are the shoes http://www.bowling.com/display.asp?SKU=WD1532