A Day in the Life of Substitute Teaching

7:50am - I get to school after driving from Mom's at an average rate of 15 mph. I was supposed to be here at 7:30. Oh well. They can't fire me. ;)

8:00am - School begins. My first hour is prep. Thank god. It's quiet. I get on the internet. I munch on gold fish crackers.

9:39am - class starts. 10th graders all day today. Goody.

9:40am - The kids are supposed to be silently reading. It's a school wide thing - SSR, sustained silent reading - for half an hour. The kids hate this time. They can't keep quiet. So they're whispering. "SHHHHH." I tell them. "Sometimes we can talk," one kids says. "No you can't." "I know." okay then. shut up and read. whisper whisper whisper whisper. whispers turn into full-blown talking. "SHHHHH." "Sorry Miss T." whisper whisper whisper whisper. It's a vicious cycle.

9:45am - "Hey, what are we doing in here today?" a kid asks me. "We're doing SSR. SHHHH." "I mean after this." "I'll tell you after SSR. Shhhhhhh." "Okay."

9:50am - sweet sweet silence. it lasted about 10 seconds. whisper whisper whisper. giggle giggle. (I give them The Teacher Look) silence. whisper whisper whisper whisper.

9:54am - There's a boy poking a girl in the head, messing with her hair. WHACK! The girl just back handed the boy for it. "Did you see that?!" he asks. "I saw you start it," I reply. "Aw, see? Quit it!" says the girl. (Teacher Look to them both) Silence for another minute or two. whisper whisper whisper whisper. giggle giggle. whisper whisper whisper.

Honestly, I don't know why they just don't take this quiet time and take a nap or something, that's what I would do! That's what I always want to do at this time anyway.

10:00am - The following takes place for absolutely no reason that I can figure out:
Student 1: "corn"
Student 2: "corn"
Student 3: "soup"
Student 4: "nuggets"
Student 5: "bread"
Class: giggle giggle giggle
WTF was that about?! Honestly, sometimes I just think that they like to hear themselves talk even if it's about nothing.

10:06 - SSR is done. Thank god. Time to put in Forrest Gump.

10:15am - AOL alert: Lindsey has just signed on. Hooray! Poke Poke. Sweet, we can chat! My day just got so much better! Poke Poke. It's Burke! Hooray! This is so much better than yelling at students all day.

10:30am - Six students are kind've watching the movie. Four are playing cards in the back corner. The remaining six are sleeping. At least it's pretty quiet.

10:40am - Burke is sending me links to teaching positions at CC. Hmmm. Something to think about. Good thing Burke is on for me to chat with or I would be totally bored. Thanks for chatting, Burke!!!!

11:00am - Lindsey sends link about cruises. I pretend I can afford one and pick out a penthouse suite for the cruise to the Bahamas. This is fun! Thanks, Lindsey!!! Oh, the kids are singing now and dancing in the back corner. The card game is apparently over. They aren't too loud just yet, so I let it go. No use wasting my breath to yell at them when it won't stop them anyway.

11:30am - Lunch time. Hooray. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, gold fish crackers, bottled water, and chocolate chip cookies. This truly is a school lunch! I feel like a kid again. :) I eat in the classroom. It's quiet in here now.

11:40am - Mr. Marshall - the in-house suspension/security kind of guy just stopped by. He wanted to see what we were doing for class 4th block. Hmmm. We were supposed to go to the park for "gym" class, but it's snowing, so I was going to have them watch Forrest Gump. He says - yeah, that's okay, I just wanted to make sure you didn't go to the park. "Oh, okay. We'll definitely be here." Then he says "There's a thing we have to do do 4th hour, so I wanted to make sure you didn't leave the building." Okay, I will admit it, I am intrigued. Is it a lockdown drill? Are they going to frisk all the students? Is there a threat to the building I should know about? Interesting. Now, I can't wait for 4th block just to see what will happen. I hope it's exciting but not too exciting, if you know what I mean. Although I'm not sure how they lock down a building with open classrooms... you can't lock the doors and keep the lights off cuz there are no doors.... (There is no spoon.)

My next class is going to the computer lab. Dammit. I don't want to get up. I'm comfy. I suppose I can probably take my computer down there too. Maybe I will read a magazine for the next hour and a half instead. That could be fun too.

12:10pm - in the computer lab. I brought magazines to read. The kids are playing games and playing on the internet. Sweet. I had to go back to the class and get my laptop. It makes me nervous leaving it there. With the open classrooms and all, anyone could walk in and grab it. Not that I don't trust the poor, inner city kids at this charter school, but I know my laptop just looks like dollar signs to some of them. So I would rather keep the laptop in my own hot little hands. I'm sitting by a window. It's snowing again. It was sunny for about 5 minutes earlier today. Now it's snowing again. Goody.

1:28pm - Forrest Gump. Again. "Hey, Miss Ummm (this is my unofficial name as a sub here. These kids are so smart). Can we watch something else?" "No." "Can we go outside?" "No" "We already seen this." "Me too." "We have to watch this for a different class." "Me too." Seriously though, most of them aren't watching it anyway. I don't know what they're bitching about.

1:30pm - the excitement begins. Mr. Marshall returns. All students are to take off coats and sweatshirts, leave all belongings in the class and report to the cafeteria. Ooooo. This is exciting. We go to the cafeteria. The whole school is not even as big as my graduating senior class. All the teachers are in one room - all like 9 or so of them. This school is tiny. One of the teacher whispers to me what's going on. They brought in the drug dogs. Someone brought in drugs. Not just the usual weed, mind you, but cocaine. They're out to find who it is. They're not legally allowed to search the students, but they can search their stuff. So they put everyone in the cafeteria for a school wide lock down while the dogs go through building. How exciting! The principal gets onto the "stage" to speak. Everyone is silent. "someone has brought something into my school that I will not tolerate..." She really sounds like a mother to all of these kids. Something about her I'm-disappointed-in-you-and-pissed-off-at-the-same-time angry quiet tone reminds me of a mother. Anyway. The search lasted about half an hour. Then they let everyone return to the classes. They don't say whether or not they found anything. All of the students in my class have returned. Must not have been one of mine. The kids joke about doggie paw prints on their backpacks and "my coat smells like dog fur." "I've never seen Miss B. (principal) so angry" I hear one of the kids say. No kidding.

2:05pm - Back to Forrest Gump. Only 40 more minutes to go. Thank god.

2:22pm - I have a headache. I can't wait to get to my temporary housing so I can take a nap with my kitty.

2:29pm - Sometimes, with these students in particular, it's hard to tell if their play fighting is going to escalate into something serious. I start staring at kids when they're acting up in this way. It's wierd. I figure if they're laughing, it's all good. When and if that stops, I'll definitely intervene. Until then, I guess I just gotta watch them like a hawk. Just what I would need - a fist fight in the middle of my class when I'm subbing. Not something I worry about in other schools. Just this one. This school is special that way.... My headache is getting worse. I start staring at the clock.

2:35 - less than 10 minutes to go. I write the note for the teacher. Generally my notes are always good. The worst I've said about a class is that they get really antsy. Secret code for: they can't sit anymore and they can't whisper anymore. They're loud, They're wandering around. Maybe they're singing. Maybe they're playing games. Maybe they're chasing each other around. Maybe they're starting to wrestle around. No major issues, but definitely "antsy." Which perfectly describes my class right now. More staring at the clock.

2:42 - the bell rings. Thank god. Time to stop by my apartment real quick and go to Mom's and take a nap.

And that's a day in the life of a sub.